Self-Expression Gone Wrong...

In this digital age, we have an infinite number of ways to express ourselves. And I would argue that nobody cares what we think the vast majority of the time. We all know people who tell us about a dozen times a day what they're doing, whether it's on facebook, twitter, a blog, or whatever else is out there. As if this wasn't already too much, we still have a staggering amount of people who need more ways to call attention to themselves.

Some think of a clever method of self-expression, while others are not so creative. For those folks, we have personalized license plates.

At some point in our nation's history, I'm guessing these were innovative and creative. One day, many many years ago, I'm sure somebody realized a 1, a 2, a 4, or an 8 could be used to replace a word or a part of a word. What baffles me is that people are still making this revelation even today.

I saw a license plate today that read "CR8TV1". Is this a person who packs and ships televisions? It must be, because it's saying "CrateTVone"...right? Oh wait! I get it! You're the creative one! I've always wondered how the world would be alerted when the Creative One was discovered. I should have known that it would be with the groundbreaking innovation that only a personalized license plate could provide. That's not ironic at all.

Many people (too many, I submit) like to tell us what they're driving, as if we couldn't read it on their vehicle. Not long ago, I saw a Toyota Camry with plates that read "TCAMRY1". Thanks. Sometimes we need confirmation, because you never can trust the words the manufacturer puts on the back of the vehicle. I drive a Camry and I think it's a great car, but I don't think anybody's too impressed with it. Not this guy...apparently his Camry is a show car. What's disturbing to me is that he tried to pick "CAMRY" but it was taken. The next best pick, obviously, was "TCAMRY". Taken, as was "CAMRY1". Undeterred, Mr. Creativity went with his fourth choice.

And just today, I saw a license plate that exclaimed "TOY4ROX". Like, this is a toy...and it's for Rox, or maybe Roxy. Maybe you didn't get that one, so I'm here for you. I know genius when I see it. When you see "Toy" on a car that's not a Toyota, you'd expect it to be on a fun, recreational vehicle, something like a Jeep or some sporty car. This was on about a 10-year-old minivan. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a 10-year-old minivan, but a toy? That's not what I think of.

One of my all-time favorites was on an enormous, jacked-up truck here in Montana. I'm probably going to get killed for making this one public, but it's too good to pass up. With "GETRDUN" and "GITRDUN" obviously taken, the obvious choice was to reverse it. So the plate said "DUNGETR". Done Get 'er...get it? Brilliant. But the best part was when someone's young son looked quizzically at the plate and finally asked his dad, "Dad, what does 'dung eater' mean?"

The worst, to me, are the ones where someone tries to squeeze an entire sentence into seven characters. The other day I saw a truck that was apparently owned by a person who loved said truck. The plate said "LUVMYTK". Or maybe they have a pet tick at home that they love.

I'm not saying all vanity plates are bad. For instance, when I was in California, I saw a white Bronco with plates that simply stated "NOT OJ". I couldn't help but laugh at that one. And sometimes it's a nickname that all your friends know, and who cares what the rest of us think? I'm fine with that. But keep in mind that most people are either making fun of you or just plain confused when they see your vehicle. Check with a few people first, and if it's not great, think of another way to express yourself. Please.