Saturday, January 30, 2010

Don't Make this any Tougher than it Needs to be.

I've been pretty disciplined about hitting the gym these last few months. I've overcome all sorts of obstacles that used to keep me from working out regularly. Sometimes it's too cold to want to leave the house, other times the weather is too perfect to go inside to work out. I've gotten past these and plenty of other thoughts I've conjured up that used to keep me away from exercise. But now I'm developing a whole new set of reasons that threaten to derail my progress, and it all has to do with the other people at the gym.

I don't know if anyone has ever come up with a set of guidelines regarding how a courteous person should use a public workout space, but I'm going to give you a few I thought of.

Wear clean clothes
And take a shower, if necessary. I know you're working out, and you're about to sweat, but the people around you are going to need to breathe heavily once they get immersed in their routine. If the gym is crowded and you regularly have empty machines next to you, ask a close friend who will be honest with you. If you work out at the Montana Athletic Club in Bigfork, have a gray ponytail and mustache and wear jean-shorts, you are the worst'am.

Wear longer shorts

I know some people look good in really short shorts, but if you are a man, you don't. Some of the women look pretty good, I'll admit, but I'm willing to make a blanket statement in hopes I don't see some of the things I've accidentally seen. Maybe the hip abduction machine should have a rule that you have to wear long pants to use it, but for now, just think of the rest of us.

Don't use the rowing machine
That's dumb.

Use the disinfectant spray
I'm no germaphobe, but when the old sweaty guy (who is wearing long underwear because he thinks they're workout pants) leaves his calling card on every machine he even walks by, I start to get a little paranoid about swine flu and whatever else is floating around. And don't just use the sweaty towel around your neck to wipe the machine down after you're done. I know it's a hassle, but people are pretty gross, and I don't like wiping down every machine before and after I use it. And by the way (mustache and jean-shorts lady), just using the hand-sanitizer doesn't help anybody.

Don't talk to me
If I take my earphones out of my ears, I'm willing to carry on a brief conversation. If I don't, that means I don't want to spend my entire day at the gym. I'm sorry your social life consists of nothing more than your five-hour workouts. Mine doesn't.

Don't watch the Weather Channel
There is no reason to watch that channel for more than a minute. If you do, I promise you're the only one. Click over to catch "Local on the 8's", then click back. If someone is already watching that TV, learn to like what they're watching.

Keep checking yourself out in the mirror
I think that's funny.

I'm sure I'll think of a few more things that are threatening to kick me off the wagon, so maybe I'll write more another time.

1 comment:

  1. Ummmm...I think you are missing some locker room etiquette. For example, even though it is acceptable to be completely nude, DO NOT bend over and show everyone your goods...from both sides. Yah, thanks. I about barfed in my mouth when I saw that the other day.