Thursday, March 18, 2010

I Meant to Say "Worst Bracket Ever"...

Perhaps you read my last few posts, in which I showed the rationale of Laci, an imaginary hair-stylist, as she made her picks for the NCAA Basketball tournament. I was developing a theory that only brackets using little to no logic in the picks won bracket pools. So I based Laci's picks on things like school colors and mascots, thinking I'd finally figured out how to pick a good bracket. Turns out I'm just bad at this.

First of all, let me apologize if you really thought these were good picks and you based your bracket on what Laci said. According to Google Analytics, 24 people found my blog after searching "Best Bracket Ever". Oops. After one day, the bracket is ranked 4,759,438 on ESPN's Tournament Challenge. That puts it in the 0.4 percentile. I don't even know how to say's not even a whole percent. That means 99.6 percent of the brackets filled out on are better than mine. Errr, Laci's.

Really, what else is in the 0.4 percentile? After some highly scientific research, I came up with the following: If a man was in the 0.4 percentile for height, he would be about seven inches tall. And I'm sure if a person was in the 0.4 percentile for income, they would probably be paying their employer. And a person in the 0.4 percentile for intelligence would be an Oakland Raiders fan. Or at least they'd have a Raiders sticker on their jacked-up truck or Camaro. I know the bracket was a joke, but 0.4 percent is still embarrassing.

I actually have another bracket that's not doing too badly so far. It's in the 88th percentile, so for a few minutes I was feeling like I had a chance. But then I looked and saw Notre Dame in the Final Four. Thanks for nothing, Irish. Really, how much should I have expected from the Fighting Irish the day after St. Patrick's Day?

So now I return to familiar territory for this time of year. With my bracket discarded and hope for 2011, I will enjoy the games for the quality of the basketball and the thrill of the buzzer-beaters. That doesn't sound fun at all.

1 comment:

  1. See, your mistake was that you had Notre Dame beating Baylor. God always loves the Baptists more. ;)