Infomercials Will Never be the Same

Yesterday I wrote about how entertained I am by infomercials. I gave you the basic formula for most infomercials, but those were for the relatively normal products. You might not think a Snuggie is strange or be puzzled as to why somebody would want a Stealth S.S.A., but believe me, these products aren't even scratching the surface of weirdness.  I was not aware of some of these products before some of my readers brought them to my attention today, and I was stunned.

I wish I was creative enough to make this stuff up.

If you're like most people, your arm nearly gets detached from your body every time you wear your seatbelt.  Thankfully there's The Tiddy Bear to solve all your problems.  It's got two D's in the name, so it's not bad...just like Teddy Bear, get it?  I'm not sure double D's make this word any better than the one you're thinking of.

If you don't know my mom, you might not know I'm single.  Every once in a while, I wonder why I haven't found the one yet, but now I know.  I've wasted my time on flowers or dinner for girlfriends on special occasions when there is something so much better out there.  My relationship woes are going to go away forever thanks to the Hug-e-gram.  You can see this infomercial here.

My problem is that I've never been able to express my love with gifts, but someone has figured it out.  A hug you can keep going forever.  You can do your grocery shopping while getting a hug from that special someone!  You don't even have to stop hugging to go sit on the toilet.  You can even record a stupid message over the phone that will be recorded on the...uhh...hug unit.  Still on the fence?  It comes with free wooden roses that last forever.  Yeah, I thought that might do the trick.

There's really not a lot I can say.  These people have taken infomercials to a whole new level.  The best I can tell, these are actual products.  Apparently people buy this crap.